Soul Seasons, Part 5: Soul Winter

Winter. No one wants to think about it this time of year (except a few snow bunnies I have as friends), but it's inevitably coming. Although winter has a few highlights for me (Christmas and my daughter's birthday), most of the time the word "winter" sends a chill down my spine. Interestingly enough, the cons that come to mind about winter can be spelled out in two word phrases such as limited travel, close quarters, less sunshine, blistering cold, tight muscles. Even the personification of Old Man Winter brings a mental picture of a white bearded, cruel curmudgeon who delights in hurling snowball grenades and icicle spears at a climate-oppressed people. The challenge that I face in the wintertime is getting through it with joy, and not losing hope. Does that describe your struggle between December and March? 

As in the other seasons of the soul, there is a winter. If you're not in wintertime, there is a high probability that it is coming your way. If you've ever been through an extended season of loss, trial, and hardship, you've been through a soul winter. Life around you seems less forgiving; the blows just keep coming like a regularly scheduled barrage of winter storms. Instead of having your arms wide open in stunning vulnerability, you find your arms embracing yourself tightly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Instead of abundance and freedom, you are scrimping and struggling spiritually. You remember with sad longing the days when you were coasting effortlessly, but now you find yourself inching up a steep incline. But if this is where these words find you, don't despair. Surprisingly, everything you've learned in all the other seasons will help you get through this rough patch. How?

Stay Warm

I spend my winter going from one warm place to another. I go from the house to the van. From the van to the store. Although I can't avoid being outside entirely, I know that the cold isn't my final destination; getting to a warm place is key. In order to stay warm in this brutal soul season you're in, you have to cover the area that loses the most heat: your head. So many battles are waged inside the mind, and keeping your mind "warm" in the midst of the icy blasts of life is like fortifying the command center of an organization. As the state of the mind goes, so goes the rest of the individual. It's a struggle to not become bitter when life gets sour, but it's not impossible. In the summer, we learned to give thanks- and that's one way to stay warm. Giving thanks isn't just for November- it's a 365 day of year proposition. In every soul season, there is always something to be thankful for. In spring, we learned to beautify our surroundings; that we can use wisdom to make any situation beautiful, and this includes our minds. 

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT

These words were penned by the bad-guy-turned-good-guy Apostle Paul not while he was on the beach sipping a cold drink, or in the company of friends at the lake, but alone in a prison. A PRISON. And not the kind of prison that inmates in America experience today, but a dank, dark dungeon. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Paul was able to experience warmth in the midst of a soul winter. His arms and legs may have been in shackles, and his physical body behind stone and bars, but his mind and his spirit were free. To loosely borrow lyrics from "My Girl", when it was cold inside, he had the month of May. His mind was set on the exact opposites of what he was experiencing. His thoughts shot straight past the small truths about what he was feeling, and with the laser focus we learned about in autumn, he was able to hone into the bigger truths about God's character. Paul turned his spirit from a thermometer, subject to the changing climate around him, to a thermostat, that controlled the climate around him, and thereby he was able to keep warm. 

Keep Hope Alive

In the dead of winter, I find myself looking online for pictures of warm, lush places. I've been known to change the wallpaper of my phone to a beach, or a flower carpeted field somewhere. Am I torturing myself? Maybe. But deep down inside, I'm nursing the thought that someday, the barren wasteland around me will match the picture I have on my phone. Jeremiah in the Bible was in a horrible state when he looked around him. All he saw was pain, devastation, loss, and hopelessness. His people had turned their backs on God, and were now living out the dire consequences. His heart was dashed into pieces remembering Israel's glory days, and now seeing her desolation. The picture of the past didn't match the picture from the present. Let's crouch down to his slumped posture and feel his agony.

I cry out, "My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!" The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Lamentations 3: 18-20

Pretty depressing, huh? But that's life sometimes. Not the pretty picture we are often painting on social media. Jack Frost has nothing on the searing bite life can have. And yet in the vicious soul winter squall, we see a break in the clouds over Jeremiah's head, and hope streams down in silken threads:

Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore I will hope in Him!" Lamentations 3: 21-24

In Disney/Pixar's film Wall-E, the earth was trashed. Quite literally. The entire landscape of earth was piled so high and so deep with trash that life was choked out. But not all life. In the midst of the mountains of debris, Wall-E finds something completely paradoxical. Somehow, someway, a tiny green plant was able to thrive in the most unforgiving soil. He gingerly scooped up that tender life form with the earth surrounding it, and placed it in an old boot. SPOILER ALERT: the rest of the movie is built around him and his companion Eve protecting this plant from destruction. Hope must be protected that vigilantly. There is so much in life that threatens to pry open the sweaty fingers we're using to cling to hope and get us to let it go. World events. Difficulties. 

Hope is outnumbered by a million and one things, and yet only a sliver is needed to overcome them all. If we place our hope in God, we'll realize that even in a seemingly eternal soul winter, His mercies do begin afresh every morning.

 With the rising of the sun, comes enough hope to get us through our day. And when we pillow our heads that night and all seems lost, we wake up to new hope the next morning. Might life still be hard and cold? Probably. But there is always hope. Answer your soul winter's bludgeoning by daring to hope. Winter won't last forever. It's a season, remember? It has a beginning, a middle, and a rewarding end: springtime. Until then, stay warm, and keep hope alive. 

Did any of the soul seasons resonate with you? Gather up your courage, and let me know in the comments below! You never know who you'll be able to encourage with your story. Also, if you've missed any of the seasons posts, make sure to check out part 1 here! No matter what season of life you find yourself in, thrive, my brave friend, no matter what comes your way.

Soul Seasons Part 4: Soul Autumn

Autumn is without a doubt my favorite season. The rainbow of leaves above, the coziness of soups and yes, cups of tea, and the sweet autumn air make it irresistible to me. But two things that are honest confessions for me are 1- I have been dreading writing this blog post, and 2- I dislike autumn as a soul season- at least I feel that way now.

You see the autumn that wraps nature in a robe of beauty, and the soul autumn I'm experiencing don't feel the same. Physical autumn is eye candy. Soul autumn is agony at times. In soul autumn, there is a dying to self, a letting go, and the close of a chapter. It was a few months ago that Steve and I felt the Holy Spirit telling us that our season at our church was coming to an end. The 9 glorious years spent there made it so hard to leave. The pastors are our dearest friends, the love is unmistakable, and we were comfortable. And yet, the direction from God was crystal clear. This journey with Jesus isn't always pretty. He will lead us into places that are downright painful; His purpose is our good, but more than that, His glory. 

When you find yourself at an end, an end of a relationship, a dream, a job, it can feel so bitter and bare. Sometimes we can see the writing on the wall when we're in a relationship/job/friendship/etc that drains us of our joy; it almost makes it easier to leave when things get sour. But what about when things are still sweet and there's an ending? It reminds me of the trees in fall. Summer begins to exit, and the bright green leaves start to turn. From verdant to gold, orange, or red. The leaves don't show any sign of distress when the change starts to happen. When soul summer becomes soul autumn, questions swirl in the air like falling leaves. "Why does this have to end?" "Why now?" "Why do things have to change now that I'm happy?" Have you ever found yourself asking questions like that to God? 

I've found myself fluctuating between excitement at this new God adventure, and feeling bare. Bare like a branch that had a beautiful cluster of flowers clipped from it forever. There is no mistaking though- those flowers are clipped because the gardener has new growth in mind for that branch. Growth like the branch has never seen before. God is leading us on from our church because He has new growth in store for us. Still though, I am grieving what was, while waiting for concrete proof that it was all worth it. The only hope and reward I have left after this pruning is God's presence, and His promises. His presence that stays with me while I'm in this season, and His promise that He blesses obedience. If this is you too, we're in the trenches together. Maybe you said goodbye to someone you loved, after asking God for a miracle. Maybe your job transferred you from one place to another, and you are faced with saying goodbye to friends, family, and a house. God has growing in mind for you. And what parting gifts is He imparting to you? His presence, and His promises. And while you're holding on to those with sweaty hands, and a lump in your throat, consider these two ways you can thrive in this season.

Refocus.

Maybe like me, you were so comfortable that you were on auto pilot. The cadence of your surroundings was in sync with your very heartbeat. And then the ending comes, and you are thrown off. Take some time to refocus. Who are you? What defines you? The things that you do, the relationships you are tied to, or the fact that you are a child of God? Remember that He gives you your worth, priceless one- not the gifts that He's given you. Lock eyes with Him- not on the beautiful flowers He's clipping off of you. His very life is coursing through your veins. And if His life is in you, you will grow anew. You are rooted and established in His love. Refocus on that truth in the midst of your grief. This might be the end of something, but it's not the ending of you. In fact, you are at another beginning. There is less of an extension of yours, but this cutback is positioning you for a comeback. 

Let Go.

Those technicolor leaves end their fiery display in being let go. I never realized that there is a double beauty in the changing foliage. Those gorgeous leaves go from bedazzling every bough of every tree to hurtling in a dazzling descent, blanketing the ground like a patchwork quilt. Those leaves are just as beautiful on the ground as they are on the tree. Their story isn't over though. As those leaves die, they break down, and bequeath their rich organic material to the soil underneath so that it's positioned to incubate new life, and enrich existing life.

So you see, the letting go of what God has called you to nourishes dreams, relationships, and seasons that are yet to be. Goodbyes are painful. Goodbyes make a heart ache. But goodbyes prepare for hellos. I find comfort in knowing that God isn't asking me to suck it up, and move on, never looking back. He is asking me to heal in forward motion. He is infusing my fingers with courage while they close this chapter to open a chapter yet unwritten. And He is happy to offer His shoulders to cry on when I'm feeling the pangs of missing out on the season I'm saying goodbye too. He fills the awkward space between the goodbye and the new beginnings with His steadfast love that makes us at home in every season. 

You can trust that as you let go, the hollow of your empty hand is the perfect receptacle for you to receive grace that will sustain you in this leg of the race. Grace that will cushion your heart in the act of letting go. 

May you see the beauty in this bittersweet season, just as I'm learning to.  I don't know what it is that you've let go of. I bet it was painful; it always is. However, in the midst of the aching, you can trust that the Gardener of your soul is taking extra care to ensure you're ready to grow, and that He will use what He pruned to nourish things yet to be. For with God, nothing is wasted.

Soul Seasons, Part 3: Summer

It's rainy and cold now, but come with me to the day when I first wrote this. It was 90 degrees outside, and there was a balmy breeze blowing. It was a day many have been waiting for and dreaming of since the wintertime. The rhododendrons in my neighborhood are in full bloom. Even the trees seemed to be swaying their branches in a happy way; warm weather looks delightful on them. When I think of summer, I think of chances to relax, drippy glasses of lemonade, and the gritty, cool sand of the beach. I admit that although summer isn't my favorite season, I am finding beauty in it. All I can think of are the scrumptious berries that I've been missing out on, and the watermelon that makes hydration easy for my kids, the unrushed mornings that bring joy to our day, and the extra time spent with family and friends around picnic tables and bonfires. 

Summer seems to bring with it a sense of overabundance. Overabundance of sunlight, fun, fruits, and family time. Summer of the soul is much like that. You find yourself in a place of abundance. It seems like everything is clicking with you. You have more than enough- but not necessarily monetarily. Counting your blessings comes easy, and you appreciate that, because life isn't always like this. You are in a sweet spot. Even if you aren't in summer of the soul right now, I bet you can remember a time when you were, while holding on to hope that you will be once again.

How can we adjust to soul summer in a way that would promote peace and joy in our hearts?

Give thanks.

It's easy to forget to be thankful when everything seems to be lining up. Sometimes in the excitement of blessings, we forget to bless the One who brought it along. It's the heart that has known seasons of loss or paring back that can thank God. Those branches heavy with green leaves once was barren. That lush bed of grass just a few months back was once dead and covered in a mountain of snow. Remember back to when you prayed for those things now in your arms? Give thanks. Thank God for His blessings, and His faithfulness. Thank Him for those things you overlook, like that sweet sale, the love of a friend, or your health. It was a DVD of singing vegetables that taught me that a thankful heart is a happy heart.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Gratitude says, "I know You didn't have to give it, but You did." "I prayed for this, and You answered the cry of my heart." "I don't always remember to thank You for ________, but today, I'm remembering." It keeps the channel of blessing open, because it is a constant reminder that God is good, and that He is the source of every good and perfect gift.

Give of Yourself.

I've caught myself when I'm tempted to hoard. I'm not proud of those moments. When I'm selfish, I block out everyone else but me. My needs. My wants. My oh my! But when I open my clenched fist, and give to others, I'm filled with a different kind of satisfying joy- the joy of passing along a blessing to someone. You've felt it too. I know people who live for the reactions of those receiving their Christmas gifts. Maybe you get a high off of that money moment too. It really is more blessed to give than receive. And although giving out of our own need is a sacrifice, it can be just as fun to give out of our abundance. Not just money, but time. Talent. Even a simple text in one of your free pockets of time to bless someone can be giving of your extra. 

The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25

Summers of the soul are for giving; for giving thanks, and for giving of yourself. Enjoy every drop of sunshine on your soul, always remembering where it came from.

Keep your eyes peeled later on this week for my first collaboration with one of my favorite friends and writers, Osheta Moore! She is delightful in every way, an artisan of words and wielder of wisdom. Her blog is Shalom In the City, and she along with her husband and their beautiful family have recently made their home in Los Angeles. I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, but we've shared an experience with our kids in the month of May that we want to examine from two different perspectives. I am so excited for this east coast meets west coast connection, and am thrilled to introduce you to her heart. You won't want to miss it! :)

Soul Seasons, Part 2: Spring

Ah, springtime. I love when winter begins to withdraw, and spring slowly takes center stage. You know that part of spring where things are still colorless and muddy? That's not quite my favorite; however, the part of spring where creation has come to life, and newness is in full swing, now that is more my cup of tea. It's funny though, because even the muddy part of spring is a welcome change from the lingering frigidity of winter, isn't it? Ralph Waldo Emerson said "The Earth laughs in flowers." How right he is. There is a joy that creation bubbles out when springtime rolls around.

So how do you know when you are experiencing springtime of the soul? Well, look around the landscape of your heart. Do you see sudden growth in areas that you didn't notice before? Are you seeing victory where there once was defeat? Are you enjoying and appreciating the beauty of God in the most "muddy" of places? Then, my friend, spring has sprung in your soul. To clarify though, just as seasons can overlap in creation, so seasons of the soul can overlap as well. You might feel a sampling of many seasons, but undoubtedly, there is one that emerges to the forefront. 

The change in climate demands a change in everyday life. What do I mean? Well, for example, in spring, there are things I need to put away, clean up, and rearrange. There are things I do out of necessity, and there are things I want to do because I want some eye candy after a long winter. When you are in springtime of the soul, there are things you have to do out of necessity, and things that you can do for fun. The two concepts I'm about to share are by no means comprehensive, but just a few thoughts that come to mind when new life is all around your soul.

Put Away

"...Let us put everything out of our lives that keeps us from doing what we should..." Hebrews 12: 1b

There are all kinds of beautiful things growing inside you, my friend! Maybe you have a new dream, passion, or calling. Maybe you are noticing that you're walking in new freedom and victory in your life. If you are growing like a weed, it's time to make room for that growing. There's this sudden urge a lot of people get in the spring that is called "spring cleaning." Maybe you're not among those folks, but hear me out for a bit. Something about the confining winter makes our worlds seem smaller, doesn't it? Then the thaw comes, and suddenly, the world seems bigger as the piles of snow get smaller. It's almost as if everyone wants to maximize all that space gained from winter's demise. Not only are dust bunnies being swept away, but there are those mercilessly de-cluttering closets, garages, and basements. Goods, clothing and furniture are burgeoning on thrift store platforms. That is what we must do when we are growing. What habits have we developed in long soul winters that need to be kicked to the curb? What spiritual clutter is littering our hearts and minds? What can we ask God to illuminate that needs to go so that room can be made for growth? These are all questions pregnant with potential to change the atmosphere of our souls.

Beautify

"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures." Proverbs 24: 3-4

One of my favorite things to do in the spring is bring something beautiful into my living spaces. I purchased a few candles, gave my bedroom a little makeover with things I already owned, and made a nautical themed wreath to put on my door. Spring is a time when finding beautiful things is easy. Spiritually though, beauty goes beyond just having good taste. There's one sure fire way to bring beauty into your soul: acquiring wisdom. God is the source of all heavenly wisdom, and wisdom is found in His word. If you're looking for rare and beautiful treasures to festoon the halls of your heart, look no further than asking God for and diligently seeking wisdom. Want a new way to approach your strong willed child? Trying to find a purpose statement for 2015, and ways to live it out? Have finances you're trying to re-align? There's a verse for that. In fact, more than likely, many verses. There is wisdom waiting for you in scripture that will bring beauty to your life: but not just any kind of beauty, a rare beauty. A beauty that can't be found on Pinterest, or in the mall. A beauty that can't be sculpted and toned in the gym, or carved by a scalpel. I speak of the kind of beauty that lasts forever, and brings life, healing, and hope to a world drab with hopelessness. If you're experiencing springtime of the soul, even in the smallest degree, bring in beautiful wisdom to teach you which way to go, and which way to grow.

 "Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced." James 3: 17 THAT is a beautiful thing.

Put away. Beautify. Soak in every bit of this growing season you're in. Be renewed. Come alive. Spring forward; this is what you were made for.