The Stand-In

I am someone who thrives on writing lists. I've been like that ever since I was a little girl. I would take my pen and paper, and carefully list everything I had to do, or clean, and to the left of each item I'd make a little square that with diligence would eventually be checked off. CONFESSION: sometimes, if I really needed a morale booster, I'd purposely write something down that I had already done before making the list, make a little square and check it off. Boy, that felt good. There's nothing that feels better than seeing a list full of check marks.

A lot of us are like that in life. It's so much easier to have little boxes to check so we know what to do. Want a clean house? Here's 10 easy steps. Want a better kid by Friday? Here's 10 easy steps. Want to land that dream job? Here's 10 easy steps. Whether we have long legs or short legs, each journey we take is taken one step at a time. One square to be checked off at a time (whether you've already done it, or have yet to do it. PS- if you've already done it and just want to check it off, go ahead. I won't judge) ;)

It's really hard to not want to take that mentality into my relationship with God. There are many days that I make a mental check list:

•  Don't lose my temper with the kids
•  Make sure to read the Bible and pray 
•  Don't emotionally eat today
• Give my dear Mr Martin extra snuggles
• Get the house in order

On and on it goes. In the past I reasoned, "Maybe, just maybe if I can get all this stuff checked off, I'll be good enough. I'll garner brownie points with God. He'll be extra proud of me." You know where that mindset got me? I would say nowhere, but that isn't true. It got me depressed. It got me frustrated. It got me hopelessly exhausted. I could see where I wanted to go in the horizon, but it was impossible for me to get there because the pavement that I thought was underneath my feet was really a treadmill. A hamster wheel of striving that although kept me busy, got me absolutely no where. Do you ever feel like that? That you have to do times infinity to earn a smile from God? As long as you keep the Ten Commandments, give to the poor, say grace at every meal, follow the golden rule, go to church, be nice to people, and never mess up maybe you'll earn a thumbs up from Heaven. Just keep trying and trying and trying. No one can live up to that. God's standard of how to get a place in heaven is impossible for anyone to follow. That's why He showed us what His standard is through His word; so that He could show us that we can't meet the standard on our own. There might even be some who see the standard and think, "Why bother? Why even try? It's impossible! I'll just be over here doing my thing. Striving is for the birds." And yet I love what Lecrae says in one of His songs:

"Born a sinner just like any man standing
Couldn't keep the standard so God sent a stand-in"

A Stand-In. Yes, there are a list of rules. Yes, it's all laid out. But our broken nature keeps us tripping. Even if we tried our hardest to be good, it wouldn't ever be good enough to earn us a place in heaven. There's only one who's perfect enough to keep all the rules. He saw that we couldn't do it. He saw that for every box we checked in our quest to earn heaven there would be a hundred more things added. That our very best was not good enough. So Love saw our value. Love took the greatest demotion of all time. Love stepped down from Heaven. Love was born in the dirt. Love lived a perfect life, checking all of those checks, one by one. But it wasn't off His own list; it was off of ours. Love took on our punishment. Love took on our shame. Love came between us and the wrath of God and absorbed the weight of our every felony and misdemeanor. Love died. Love was buried. But it didn't end there. In the darkness of the earth, in the cold space that was the final stop of the greatest injustice of all mankind, our Stand-In stood up. He who was put to death breathed new life. In that final act, Jesus took the endless list and checked off each box. One by one, and once and for all. So that you could have a place in Heaven. So that you could wear His righteousness. So that you could have hope and freedom. So that you could inherit everything He has. Our Stand-In Savior did it all so that we wouldn't have to. We can take those tired feet off the treadmill of striving and walk the path that He already walked; except this time, we are walking it out with Him.

Can I give you hope today? Easter means that what was dead can be raised to life again. Easter means that defeated territory can be a place of victory. Easter means that you don't have to earn God's grace. No one can. Just receive it. Easter means that those stripped of everything can dream again. Those bound in chains can run free again. Easter means that because He lives, you can live for Him. Easter means that because the Spirit raised Jesus from the dead, He can give you the power to do the impossible. Easter means that by trading your "good enough" for "the best that ever could be", you can look down at your list, see that everything has been checked off by Jesus, and bow in gratitude. In bold letters written across that standard, you can read the last words that Jesus spoke on the cross- the one thing He wants you to know about your list:

IT IS FINISHED.

Buddies For Blind Spots

I joke with people that the day that I gave birth to my first child was the day that I grew eyes in the back of my head. There have been so many times where I was able to catch a falling object, shield a child from bumping their head on something, and policing them carefully away from stair cases. I didn't always make it in time, but thankfully I've been able to avoid a couple of crises.

I find that as long as I can see, I have somewhat of an advantage maneuvering around life. Sometimes I can see things clearly and can side step around them. Not every danger is hidden from sight. But there are those times when I could use a literal pair of eyes in the back of my head. Like the times that I am harboring an awful attitude that needs changing, or the times that my bad habits sneak up on me without me seeing them, or the mindsets that I've had for years that I think are "normal" to have. I call these things as they are: my blind spots.

There's only a certain area of peripheral vision granted to us; only so much that we have the capacity to see. I can't always see the evil in my heart and mind. I can't always see how my words affect others. I can't always see which thoughts are straight from the pit and wreaking havoc in my mind. For those blind spots, there are only 2 solutions: God and people.

David in the book of Psalms cried out in Psalm 19:12, "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults." God sees every nook and cranny inside your heart, and yet He loves you fiercely in spite of everything. There isn't anything in your heart that He doesn't already know, so in effect, coming clean to a God who knows everything and loves you anyway is refreshing. Liberating. Absolutely cathartic. There's no hiding, no shame, no pretending. In His love, and by His truth, He will reveal to you anything lurking in your blind spot that threatens to sideswipe, sabotage and sink you. He is for you. He is on your side.

Much like the shape of the cross, our lives are hinged on two things- the vertical (our relationship with God) and the horizontal (our relationship with people). The thing about being a person is that I'm not perfect. I can't do anything perfectly. I can't love perfectly. But I have seen the beauty of an equally imperfect friend coming alongside me and lovingly telling me that she sees something in or around me that's not from God. And even though I might not always want to hear the truth about my stuff, I know deep down that she loves me. She's for me. She sees the best in me too. 

What a gift to have a friend who like a surgeon, uses the scalpel of truth and the sutures of grace to make us healed and whole in the end. Friends such as these are rare indeed. If you have them, keep them. If you don't, seek them out. 

And if it's you who feels the nudge to be eyes in the back of your friend's head, be gentle. Be honest. Be full of grace. With the same tenderness you would want someone to excise the cancer of sin from your heart, proceed in love. Pray for the right timing. Pray that their hearts and ears would be receptive. Pray for wisdom in your execution. Pray for restoration for your friend.

In these days of peril, lone wolfing it will only get you in a deep ditch without escape. We need a connection with an all knowing, all seeing, all present God for cleansing, correction, and care. And we need the camaraderie of one or two trusted friends who will commit to love us, cheer for us, and be eyes in the back of our heads to dangers without and within. May we have the courage and the clarity to  see our flaws through the mirror of God's word, and may His grace and wisdom steer us and our buddies as we watch out for each other. 

Stand firm. Stay sharp. Love well.