The Love Boat

The year was 2001. The ship was the Carnival Paradise. And my dear Mr. Martin and I were on our honeymoon. Our cheeks were still sore from smiling too much on our wedding day. The ink on our marriage license was still wet. We were deliriously happy, for we had God and each other, for the rest of our lives. Little did we know that we were heading into the first storm of our marriage.

I had a history of sea sickness, but I was told that the ship was so big that I wouldn't "feel" the rocking. Our room was strategically in the best place on the ship- towards the middle and nearly at the bottom. But despite the position of our cabin on that ship, that very first night we sailed into a nasty storm. We looked outside the small, rain streaked window of our cabin and saw the black, angry, churning waters. The sky was dark gray and menacing. The rain fell in sheets. Then I felt it- my stomach churning with the same intensity as the water. I was miserably sea sick.

"This CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" I thought. "This is our honeymoon! I am ruining everything...what is he going to do? Is it going to be like this the whole week we're here?" I felt sad for both of us. This wasn't what we planned on. He deserved so much better. My internal dialogue was interrupted by Steve placing his strong hand gently on my back. I had no idea, but I was just about to find out what kind of man I was married to.

He tenderly stroked my back while I was sick. Every once in a while he whispered, "It's going to be OK." "I'm so sorry, Honey." "I'll get some help for you." I realized that even though the storm was raging outside, and within my body, that I was mysteriously suspended in the eye of the storm- my husband's love. As the waves of sickness continued, I was marveling at this love that I had never known before. He wasn't angry. He wasn't indifferent. He wasn't leaving. He was there to stay. Tears of gratitude streaked down my face as I discovered that love could go deeper than I had the capacity to dream. 

Eventually, the week got better. The seas calmed, the sun came out, and with the help of copious amounts of Dramamine, we got our sea legs. We laughed. We enjoyed seeing mango trees, feeling powdery white sand under our feet, and wading into the warm-as-bath-water Caribbean Sea. Oddly enough, even after the horrible sea sickness I endured, to this day I remember my honeymoon as glorious because among other things, it was the week that God showed me the first glimpse of who He had picked to love me in sickness and in health. 

We were only on the cruise ship 7 days, but as we would learn over the course of our marriage, storms come to both sea faring folk and land dwellers alike. Some started inside me. Some started inside him. Storms that caught us both by surprise. Storms that would shatter our hearts against the jagged rocks of adversity. Storms so big that we couldn't see their end. Surgeries. Positive test results. Job shakiness. Secrets. Selfishness. Adding babies (and a dog). Church changes. Friends and family moving away. Anxiety. Depression. School. Financial difficulty. And through it all, I've seen a clearer and clearer picture of the faithfulness of my husband, and the unshakable nature of our God.

Storms find their way into all of our marriages. I bet if we compared notes, you'd have a deep stack of storms too. You might even be in the middle of one right now. Sometimes our storms found us sobbing in each other's arms- other times we seemed miles apart in bed as we burned the midnight oil hacking through awkward silence with deliberate communication and knots in our stomachs. Other times we would pray, sometimes not even knowing what to say. In the uncertainty of a tempest, without knowing how long it will last or how we can get it to stop, we know that just as the captain of the Carnival Paradise steered us through that intense squall, the Captain of our Love Boat is even more faithful. He is steering us through. He gives us everything we need to come out on the other side- Himself. In the middle of our love knot, He is the solder that keeps us fused together. Our love in itself isn't strong enough to keep us together, but His love is.

How is the view out of the window of your Love Boat? I certainly wish you smooth sailing, my friend. If it were up to me, you would always have powder white sands and turquoise waters in your marriage. But when the skies turn gray and the seas are in conflict, remember this: 

As horrible as storms are, they have an incredible way of kicking up gemstones too. They have the power to change the blurry haze of happiness into crisp 20/20 vision, where suddenly everything that is important comes into crystal clear focus. 

God is holding you both together. You're wearing the same team jersey. That's all you need to know. And when your Love Boat is tossed, you can find solace that you are both safe in the eye of every storm- your Father's love.